Nasal Irrigation

It is with great shame that I make this confession: I am an animal. As such, I have certain biological problems, and one of them is the occasionally runny nose. It was under the recommendation of a strange woman friend of mine that I began the practice of nasal irrigation. She informed me that I will reap many rewards, including lowering the incidence of snoticles, a strange phenomenon no doubt familiar to my Nordic readers in which the mucus of the nose freezes and forms an uncomfortable crystalline landscape of the interior--a nasal Narnia, if you will, but without all the magic and creatures. In the mode of a ruggedly handsome shaman, I would like to pass the technique onto you, my dear readers:

You squirt water up your nose.

The supposed benefits of this practice are numerous and include:

- The treatment of Empty Nose Syndrome, which, I have been told, is not as funny as it sounds.
- The treatment of Phantosmia, or, "phantom smells"--indeed, just the other day I thought I smelled a lovely roast, but alas, it was but thin air. I have recorded no such experiences since beginning treatment.
- Providing clearer vision.
- Improving one's sinus-related quality of life (which, for me, is essential in preventing suicide).

I recommend you try it as it is important to keep up with the latest hygienic trends.