Thursday, May 15, 2008

Dear Blog

Dear Blog,

I wanted to write tonight but cannot. I am bloated on turkey and have been drinking heavily as of late. I became afraid of the tap-water after some slut flushed poison down my toilet in an attempt to get it into my pipe-system (I admit, my knowledge of plumbing is rudimentary at best). I have been drinking Double Diamond beer as a replacement. I am looking a little bit tubby, I'm afraid. There are mice droppings in my bed. And yet I shall sleep there tonight.

I shall sleep there tonight, most likely under the influence of an opium tincture. I am growing more and more withdrawn each day. I cannot come to terms with the world outside me. And the world inside me is no longer my own.

Oh Blog, you are nothing like my boyhood diary. You are a cheap gimcrack whereas my diary was a hidden flower pollinated by my private thoughts and words. You are a tabloid, and I, your perverted publisher.

We shall go to sleep angry at each other tonight.


Nigel Tewksbury


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Anonymous said...

Hi Nigel,
You have disappeared from my Facebook. Are you still on it?


Nigel Tewksbury said...

Dear Heather, I trust you and Sir Percy are well. Unfortunately my facebook account has been deactivated for some unknown reason. This is not the first time I have been banished from cyberworld... I hope to return soon, more spectacular than ever. I hope all is well with you and your world.


Nigel Tewksbury