Thursday, May 15, 2008

Dear Blog

Dear Blog,

I wanted to write tonight but cannot. I am bloated on turkey and have been drinking heavily as of late. I became afraid of the tap-water after some slut flushed poison down my toilet in an attempt to get it into my pipe-system (I admit, my knowledge of plumbing is rudimentary at best). I have been drinking Double Diamond beer as a replacement. I am looking a little bit tubby, I'm afraid. There are mice droppings in my bed. And yet I shall sleep there tonight.

I shall sleep there tonight, most likely under the influence of an opium tincture. I am growing more and more withdrawn each day. I cannot come to terms with the world outside me. And the world inside me is no longer my own.

Oh Blog, you are nothing like my boyhood diary. You are a cheap gimcrack whereas my diary was a hidden flower pollinated by my private thoughts and words. You are a tabloid, and I, your perverted publisher.

We shall go to sleep angry at each other tonight.

Yours,

Nigel Tewksbury

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I came across your blog after doing some research on aestheticism. id like to talk to you more.

my email is hairek@uarts.edu if you are at all interested in pursuing my inquiries,


k.haire

Anonymous said...

Hi Nigel,
You have disappeared from my Facebook. Are you still on it?

Cheers,
Heather

Nigel Tewksbury said...

Dear Heather, I trust you and Sir Percy are well. Unfortunately my facebook account has been deactivated for some unknown reason. This is not the first time I have been banished from cyberworld... I hope to return soon, more spectacular than ever. I hope all is well with you and your world.

Yours,

Nigel Tewksbury