At an unsafe speed, I rumble through the trees--through the fall I fly, the stink of sewage in my nose--and I know there is no happiness that I'd call true. For happiness is fleeting and false, like this dandy-on-wheels, and I wish I were foolish enough to buy into the buying and the house and the dog and the car--though they appear all innocent, at heart they are all evil, except my roadster, of course, which I enjoy because it's fast (and perhaps a little evil). Now, Nigel, focus, and watch out for the retard with rotting teeth but nick the oblivious teen as a wake-up call from reality--ring your bell like a coked-up Pavlov and hope the dogs respond and make way for Master Tewksbury, he's faster than you; and I storm along the riverside--upshift! upshift! upshift!--with a death wish, perhaps, yes, certainly with a death wish, because I am an exotic bird of paradise that does not wish to propagate--propagation's for the common and the plain--I wish to go out in a colourful explosion of feathers, dancing my strange, exotic dance not understood by the populous who prefer the ignorant impregnators, the bacon and the burgers--now I'm on the ragged edge, dipping down and up, huffing and puffing and growing younger--ringing my bell, again, like a coked-up Pavlov to signal my mercurial pace through the sewage stink and cultural garbage--hark! my message is chaos with precision--whoever made this bike path had great aesthetic sense--I salute your work--I'm sorry no one notices, but we are all basically stupid. Ah! This is happiness, this is false, this is fleeting, but fuck it feels grand and fuck I feel superior and fuck it would be a good time to die, now, by smashing my head upon the road and being eaten alive by ducks--I just hope it cracks easier than a coconut and I taste alright without sauce--I wish to die--I'd like to be a cutter, that is, a cutter of corners, up upon my bicycle, my silent steed; but with sadness this ride must end. It is a shame. But I feel a little better now. I must remember this as a cure for my occasional bouts with malaise.
quickly beating heart
trees, sewage, water, and will
hidden underground
Sunday, September 21, 2008
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