The AstroLab

She was a tall drink of water with a kick and she had legs up to here. Well well well, we've got stars in our eyes tonight. Let's pour a drink and make out in my exotic car--I'm feeling like a tiger. And it's a full moon, or close enough... Or are you sick again? You can't keep out of trouble, can you, pussy cat? You're infected with the chaos of the world--now isn't that a drag? It's not easy on me, either. But I'll jump out of a cake with a blue Speedo if it makes you happy.

Now the universe is my thing--I dig that planetary noise. Like jazz, but good. I've constructed an AstroLab in the attic--old brass telescopes, compasses, and tube electronics. It cost a fortune, but I love getting drunk on Jim Beam while spotting planets and constellations. I love the milky way, but I confess, I spend most of my time looking in parked cars. In general I've learned a lot.

Last night I woke up as Jupiter. Really psychedellic. I was full and warm but my moon was bringing me down. She said she was killing herself. I was so worried that I pissed myself. I tried to convince myself that it was just a moon--I have 62 more--but I was sad to see her go because she was a pretty one. I watched it grow ugly and die.

It's no good being a sensitive planet. I'll change my sheets and learn courage from hard liquor and fast cars. That's my long-term plan.