I awoke, after a long and restless night, to find myself in a situation most mad. I had dreamt of exploding walls and looking through a frosted windshield. The frosted windshield made me cry because it was not real--a memory of another life, where I spent a great deal of energy trying not to die in traffic. The exploding walls filled me with the emptiness of a hero.
After the explosion I felt a general horror. A ghost bid me to get drunk--famously so--but I told him I had sworn a mild oath to Sobriety and that these days hard-living is cliche. He told me to lighten up; I told him he was a disgusting pig. For I have also sworn an oath to Truth.
Also in my dream I exchanged telegrams with a mistress of Heaven. I asked her if she noticed the darkness underlying my cheery tone and whether it was good or bad. She gave me some flaky reply and told me to be patient. That was not much use to me at all. So I asked her to come with me to explore a New Madness. I fear she is afraid and am yet to receive her reply, the goodie-goodie bitch.
All this dreaming left me feeling like a loser, so I jumped into a freezing lake with no clothes on. I felt the water surround me until I became overwhelmed with pleasant thoughts of death. I gasped wide-eyed in an ecstasy. A group of idiots gathered around the lake and watched me flail--half were drunk or on drugs, and half were assholes with high-powered jobs. Somehow, I, a nakedly flailing man, was the most dignified, the most true. When I emerged I was all smiles and laughter. I knew my abdominals looked godly. I kissed the prettiest girl, though she resisted, slightly.
Upon returning to my digs, I felt vital and clear and abandoned my sinister thoughts for a cup of tea. I thought of home, though I've never had one. The hot shower seemed a tropical waterfall.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
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