Monday, August 6, 2007

On drunkenness

When sober I am bored; when drunk I am maniacal. Truly I am unsure which is the more desirable state. I confess that there have been moments when I have made the difficult link between sobriety and happiness, but in those moments I have been inevitably high on some other, more unassuming drug, such as "love" or "success." The effects of such drugs wore off long ago... But alcohol still gives me that buzz, and boredom... well, boredom is at the bottom of everything, isn't it? It is like some mastermind, a sinister "Wizard of Oz" if you will, terrified to show his pathetic pallor. But I've seen him in a dream. He handed me a bottle of Absinthe and said, "This shall heal your spleen."

The hell it will!

What a fool I was to accept my enemy and his false antidote! I was face to face with Mephistopheles and didn't realize it--who knew the devil was so mundane? And yet if that antidote be false, is there one that be true? That is the question that has led me on this dark, twisty voyage of the night; this journey through the ocean of mundanity. One peaceful morning I was convinced that the true antidote is Beauty, but I believe it was Wilde who said, "Beauty is best accompanied with a glass of wine."

It is a cruel fate... My only consolation is that I am a drunkard-slash-aesthete, not merely a drunk.